life today

Why is it life never seems to give you a moments break, you think for a brief moment that everythings fine and then BLAMMO it smacks you upside the head with a blunt object, sometimes phallic.

You know ive never been one to hold onto the past, shit the past is where the pains at, but somethings just keep coming back and they still pack one hell of a punch.

Its strange how emotions never seem to change there nature, they just develop, either they get stronger or weaker, but they never change there nature, even if you hate someone who you used to love, you still love them ... though in somecases its such a finite amount that it could change to morbid loathing.

Why is it so hard to let go, wouldn life be simpler if we had no emotions at all ... boring as fuck, but marriages would stay together due to them only being created through practicality. makes me wonder if homosexuality would exist in a world with no emotion ... music surely wouldnt ... films would be just curious fragments of stories strung together by truth with the acting skills of keano reeves being displayed by every actor/actress ... though would that job title even exist ... shit without emotion everyone would have the same ability and chick flicks would just not make sense ... well ok, there is a strong argument that they dont anyway, but you ge my drift.

I miss you mum and im not alone in that feeling, dad keeps up the needless reminders and si keeps quiet, which ive always found unsettling, the kids at the playground wish on your star every night and i know you try your est to grant them their dreams, just as i know your with me everyday to keep me strong in my resolve.

Ill dance with you in the kitchen of my dreams tonight and hope it brings you the same laughter it always did in life.

I miss you Jenn, your love stays with me, and mine will always be with you.

Seryn, daddy wishes he could be with you every moment of everyday, and one day it will be possible you want it to be.

Chrissy, however much we have gron apart, you above all else gave me the greatest gift the world could give, shame you try so very hard to take it away from me.

their are friends i could list to say i miss you too, some im in contact with still today some who have passed on, and some who i will never meet again, but friends you will be to the end.

*** coming soon, a happy blog were i talk about bunnies in fox costumes breaking ino the den ***